SWAP'ra RETREAT APPLICATIONS
applicant information:
FIRST NAME:
FIRST NAME HIDDEN FOR 1ST ROUND
EMAIL:
EMAIL HIDDEN FOR 1ST ROUND
LAST NAME:
LAST NAME HIDDEN FOR 1ST ROUND
PHONE:
PHONE HIDDEN FOR 1ST ROUND
DATE OF BIRTH
Jun 14, 1987
NUMBER OF CHILDREN AND THEIR AGES:
1 child, just turned 3
ARTISTIC TRAINING AND ACHIEVEMENTS PRIOR TO BIRTH OF FIRST CHILD:
I entered the the profession as an adolescent soprano, before enrolling at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama (BMus 1st Class/MMus Distinction). This is my 24th year! I performed roles such as Flora in The Turn of the Screw at ENO, Teatro Real, Aix en Provence and La Monnaie before completing my formal training., Since graduating/ prior to pregnancy, I began to make Mozart's the Queen of the Night a speciality (Glyndebourne, Garsington, Swedish Chamber Orchestra, Wexford and cover at WNO and ENO). I also sung further roles for ENO, Teatro Real and Garsington, made debuts at Nederlandse Reisopera, The ROH Linbury, English Touring Opera, Longborough and recorded and performed Fiordiligi (Mozart's Cosi Fan Tutte) for RLPO/European Opera Centre. I was a Britten Pears Young Artist, Finalist in the 2017 Das Lied Song Competition, Winner of a Making Music AYCA Award, Opera Awards Bursary Recipient and won the English Song Prize and Susan Longfield Award whilst at the Guildhall.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO TAKE PART IN THE SWAP'RA RETREAT?
I was already keen to take-part, and then spoke candidly with Aoife Miskelly whilst working with her this Summer, about Motherhood in general as well as the retreat. Her endorsement and evident nourishment from it inspired and consolidated my feelings . I wasn't free to apply last time, and speaking frankly, even if I had been, was too shellshocked. I wasn't ready to delve deep and speak openly and candidly as I feel I am now. I long to spend time with fellow singer Mummy's and our allies, in a safe space, to pause, reflect and invest in myself. I feel it could help me to heal emotionally, which I desperately need to do, and hope that it might mark a new chapter.
I experienced a difficult birth-with pre-eclampsia, an emergency C section and a hospital experience at the latter end of the Covid period- marking a rocky start. Then postnatal depression hit 8 months postpartum, just prior to making major opera debuts triggered by giving up breastfeeding. With hindsight, I went back to work far too early, and put far too much pressure on myself to get back to singing, in fear that I would never get "back in".
In addition, my husband and I have had lots of marital issues. We keenly feel the profound change to the dynamics of our relationship having had a child. Furthermore, having struggled to solo parent whilst I toured, my husband confessed to being baffled (in dark moments) by my love, akin to addiction, to a vocation which requires so much sacrifice. Whilst pregnant, we pondered whether my drive to pursue this career might lesson after having a family. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it has not, though now it's 100 times harder to make it happen. We've both struggled with society's and inherited perceptions of motherhood and parenting, and have worked really hard to overcome our problems, which all came to an ugly head this summer. Perhaps unsurprisingly then, it also happened to be my busiest professional season ever, and also time for toddler terrible 2's.
Lots of the above got buried and has only been delved into recently, because my Mum had breast-cancer in 2023. I paused work to care for her in Summer 2023 and mercifully she is now in remission, However it has meant that coupled with caring for a young baby, and trying to do my crazy singing career before and after, the trauma had not been dealt with. I am ready. In short: in the aftermath of all of this, I yearn for peace and me time to process and heal.
DESCRIBE YOUR PRESENT LIFE AS AN ARTIST AND PLANS FOR THE FUTURE:
I've a 3 month gap between contracts, so am largely a stay at home Mum, but have 2 days a week (when my son is in childcare), to focus on my singing. It's a much needed if enforced break from touring etc. If I had been offered a contract, I'd have no doubt taken it and carried on burning myself out, having not stopped since August 2022. I've had a very fortunate run in what is a tricky climate, and I know I have been very lucky to be working this much until now....
I am however, really trying to utilise and be honest with myself about what I need from this time period. I also hope to begin to process my trauma, as it's beginning to impact my professional life for the first time. Until recently, I felt only my personal life were taking a hit. However, speaking candidly, I have done a couple of also-ran auditions in big houses in the last few months. Feedback has been that I've sung well, but it's been a bit emotionally lacking. It's made me realise that I was starting to self sabotage through lack of self care. I think I've been forced to pause just in time. I am grateful.
I am proactively learning new arias, having singing lessons where financially possible, planning with my agent and finally having some much needed counselling through Help Musicians/BAPAM. This month I have a short-term contract with Royal Opera L&P, as we're reviving a Family Sunday show. I have a handful of private students, some Songhaven (dementia friendly) concert work and a couple of L&P days at WNO and ROH in December. Basically, any work I am doing is rewarding, short and nourishing.
I need to re-cooperate in time for the New Year, as I go to Open North mid January, to make my most important company debut to date, as Queen of the Night. I've been waiting for a debut like this for a long time, as it's a role I have had a tempestuous history with and took a break from until recently. There's no denying that Ive a lot riding on it, so I intend to make sure I am best placed of mind and body, to enjoy and flourish in this contract. Thereafter, things are eerily quiet, unsettlingly so, having been the busiest I've ever been recently . I know the climate is tough, so am trying not to read too much into it. I also look to the beacon of light that is a summer festival contract in 2026 for Grange Park, and will try to fill gaps between Opera North and then. I am also so so keen to get auditioning abroad, armed with my Irish passport!
DO YOU ENVISAGE BRINGING YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU ON THE COURSE?
I don't. Coming out of the marital issues we've been having, my husband and I have both identified how important an experience and resource this could be for us as a family. FOR ME. However we both feel that to make the most of it, I would need to be there alone and to have the space and time for myself, knowing that my son is being cared for at home by Dad.
REFEREE information:
REFEREE 1 NAME:
Marie Mclaughlin
REFEREE 1 EMAIL:
REFEREE 1 RELATIONSHIP:
Singing Teacher/ Mentor
REFEREE 1 RESPONSE:
Position / Role Held:
Singing Teacher/Soprano
Length of time you have known applicant:
23 years
In what capacity have you worked with the applicant and when?
I have been teaching xxxx since 2020, but have known her for many years, as we met in 2001 when she was just a child. Our first professional encounter occurred when we were cast in the same production of Britten’s The Turn of the Screw (as Flora and Miss Jessel), for the Aix en Provence Festival. This was revived in many European houses with the same cast, which meant that we spent a lot of time together when she was a teenager, and I became a friend and mentor to her. She has always affectionately referred to me as her “Opera Mama”. We were colleagues again several years later, in 2010 at Teatro Real, in what was to be xxxx’s final performance as Flora and my debut as Mrs Grose. The last time we performed together was in later in 2013, in Philip Glass’ The Perfect American, playing Mother and Daughter in the Disney family, for Teatro Real and ENO. Since meeting, I have always tried to keep an eye on her in the industry; looking out for her best interests as she moved through her training and early career, and offering help and guidance where possible. However I have always been keen to teach her, though waited for her to approach me about this and was glad when she did so.
Would you recommend the applicant for the SWAP’ra Retreat? Please describe the applicant’s ability and potential to build a successful career in opera/classical singing:
I would wholeheartedly recommend xxxx for the retreat. Motherhood is a daunting, challenging prospect and experience for any young woman. Being an opera singer adds even more pressure and challenges to the mix. It is also a logistics operation for any family, to juggle a career that requires travel and further childcare implications. Add to that then, the important consideration that xxxx is an artist who has been in the industry for a very long time, with over 20 years of experience and investment in her career. Singing and performing is such a huge part of who she is, and has shaped who she has become as an adult. It’s extremely important to her to continue and anything that can help her to do so is invaluable. I would love to see her begin to rebuild confidence and to be able to speak to others in a similar position. She would benefit greatly from the programme of activity that is planned, as she has not the financial means to create anything remotely similar. It would also be much needed rest and respite and I have everything crossed that she might be selected.
Any other comments:
This period of change, turbulence and navigation of new circumstances has had a huge impact on her wellbeing and career. I have been so sorry to hear of xxxx’s struggles, both with her own mental wellbeing and marital issues, and the ill health of her Mother, across the last few years. She is a brilliant Mum and person, and has always been a fantastic singer. I want to see her pushing herself to be the best singer she can be, technically and otherwise, and wish her success and satisfaction both in her career and personal life. As a woman who had a successful career, juggling home life with creating a stable environment, I know only too well how difficult it can be. I think you offer wonderful resources and help to this generation of singers.
REFEREE 2 NAME:
Steven Swales
REFEREE 2 EMAIL:
REFEREE 2 RELATIONSHIP:
Agent
REFEREE 2 RESPONSE:
Position / Role Held:
Artist Manager/Owner proprietor
Length of time you have known applicant:
Coming up to 9 years
In what capacity have you worked with the applicant and when?
I have worked with xxxx as her Agent since Spring 2016 and have facilitated auditions for all of the the major UK houses and Festivals, many of these for the first time.
xxxx has moved from being a young artist where I supported her with chorus and cover contracts, through to small roles, and more recently as a principal artist. We are now looking to keeping her career active in the UK, while pursuing international opportunities. We have a very close working relationship and I would like to think xxxx could call me a friend. I was at her wedding in 2018, and have seen her flourish in her personal as well as professional life, as well as helping her navigate the more difficult periods - including early motherhood, family illness and gaps in employment. We speak regularly and work closely to keep her in the best position for artistic growth and development.
Would you recommend the applicant for the SWAP’ra Retreat? Please describe the applicant’s ability and potential to build a successful career in opera/classical singing:
I would certainly recommend xxxx for the SWAP'ra retreat. Looking at the programme of activity, I know it would be beneficial to her. She is the sort of person who would make the most of every opportunity. She is resilient, hard-working and proactive, and I have been impressed by her dedication to her career and family, but also her ability to identify areas of her life that she is not happy with, and to find ways to work on them.
xxxx is a caring and dedicated Mother to a very cute and happy little boy. However, motherhood has not always been easy for her, with post-natal depression, family illness and marital issues making for a challenging few years. Juggling her career and family life has been particularly challenging in recent months and I would love to see her invest in herself and rebuild her self-confidence. We have sometimes needed to have very candid conversations about her wellbeing, and I always do my best to support and help her as a friend and Agent.
xxxx is starting to build a successful operatic career and is vocally in an excellent place since having her son. She works hard with her teacher and coaches and has a desire to learn and develop her artistry. She is passionate about what she does and always strives to make the most of every opportunity. She clearly loves her job!
She is a versatile singer, with the stratospheric range for roles like Queen of the Night, but she is equally at home in comedy, early opera or contemporary works. She has established herself as a reliable, consistent, yet versatile singer, with excellent stage-craft and is a supportive colleague and company member. Whenever I have seen her in performance, I have always been impressed, regardless of whether the production is to my taste, or favourable to critics!
Any other comments:
With funding of the arts being continually squeezed, opportunities are harder to come by. With talent as a given, in order to succeed, artists must also be motivated, hardworking, resilient, realistic and mature about expectations and the realities of this industry. There is also an element of reinvention needed, and an honesty about areas that may need work. xxxx does all of the above and I hope that once she has had her counselling, she will begin to feel herself again. I know places are limited but I know the SWAP'ra retreat could extremely beneficial to her.